i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
