Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
