So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.