You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
