well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
