After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?