Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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  (908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k
  Replies (5) Good night (4689) Bad night (744)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8302) Bad night (792)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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  (407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s
  Replies (10) Good night (4285) Bad night (964)
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  (516): View more from New York

  id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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  (516): id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though http://tfl.nu/r22j
  Replies (8) Good night (6084) Bad night (1033)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1292) Bad night (4050)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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  (845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol
  Replies (12) Good night (1243) Bad night (4073)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

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  (403): I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now http://tfl.nu/plpv
  Replies (27) Good night (5258) Bad night (1402)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

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  (605): I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable. http://tfl.nu/f89d
  Replies (7) Good night (2818) Bad night (1304)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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  (917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2
  Replies (1) Good night (2291) Bad night (1005)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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  (909): If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis http://tfl.nu/ldcq
  Replies (2) Good night (1762) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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  (585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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  (732): How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!? http://tfl.nu/ssco
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

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  (703): YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!! (202): Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me... http://tfl.nu/al91
  Replies (12) Good night (1307) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm

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  (314): Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm http://tfl.nu/kthz
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (297)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.

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  (506): That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers. http://tfl.nu/8tel
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (301)

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