i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
