White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
