I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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