I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
