is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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