So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
