it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
