I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
