i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
