is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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