I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
