i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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