If i come over, it means nothing
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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