you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
