I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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