Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
