dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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