I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
