brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
