If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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