My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
