when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize