are you still at the devil's house?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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