suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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