I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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