Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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