this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
