I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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