Non-Jews are for practice
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
