just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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