My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
