sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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