i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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