Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she looked like the before picture.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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