so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
