I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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