i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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