i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
