Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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