____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
