no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
