I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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