Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
