So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
