he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
