Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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