Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
