Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
did you just send me my own nude
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
