I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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