I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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