Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
