So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
