8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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