I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
