At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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