Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
