is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
