Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
